Friday, March 11, 2011

Is Ron Swanson of NBC's Parks and Recreation Secretly Primal / Paleo?

I am slowly beginning to suspect that one of my current favorite TV characters, Ron Swanson, is secretly primal or paleo. Evidence:

Key paleo or potentially paleo concepts:
  • Skim milk: Avoid it
  • Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
  • Living in the woods: Live off the land.
  • Property Rights: They exist. Don't let them be taken away from you.
  • Cow Protein, Pig Protein, Chicken Protein, Romantic Love, Deer Protein
  • B.O. Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
  • YOU. You are your biggest ally.
  • Self-reliance. Trust yourself.
  • Capitalism. God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
  • Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
  • Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
  • Greatness itself. The best revenge.

Not-so-paleo concepts on the pyramid:
  • Fish (Sport only) {C'mon Ron! Get your Omega-3s!}
  • Buffets. Wherever available. Choose quantity over quality.

Here is some more proof of Ron's primal / paleo tendencies:


When they are headed to Ron's favorite steakhouse:

Ron: When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

The "time capsule" episode:

Ron: I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution, J.J.'s Diner. Home of the world's best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse.

The telethon episode:

Ron: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

From "Summer Catalog":

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Leslie: Well, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.
Ron: I ate it already.
Leslie: What?
Ron: I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything.

From "Woman of the Year":

Ron: Come on Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women.
Leslie: You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.

From the episode "Sweetums":

Ron, on individual liberty: The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.

From "Tom's Divorce":

Los, Steffi!
Ron: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt of the Earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses, but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.

Ron: This seems like none of our business.
Leslie: Be supportive, OK? Don't be all like, "No. I don't want to. I am a guy and I like fire, and playing hockey and eating meat. No, no says I."
April: That was a really good Ron.
Leslie: Thank you.

From "The Practice Date":

Ron: I've established a scientifically perfect, ten-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. 10 is tennis legend Steffi Graf.

And finally:

What do you think? Is Ron Swanson secretly primal or paleo?

ETA: Ron visits health food store Grain 'n' Simple and its sample kiosk for vegan bacon.


  1. This title made me laugh! Love that show :)

  2. This list is amazing!!! Ron is my second favorite character, after Tom Haverford! ~Arsy


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